Saturday, May 2, 2009

How To Make Your Relationship Work?


Practically speaking, a man-woman relationship is bound to imperfection. The human world is full of contradicting realities, which we often describe as the "irony of life". Solving this is almost next to impossible, however, there are small things we can do to abate the unpleasant effects of man's inevitable flaws.

Let me share with you some of my thoughts:

1.Do you know that external appearance is not a ticket to a happy relationship?

I believe that a thing of beauty is not a joy forever. I know that many men will disagree with me on this aspect knowing for a fact that men are visual creatures and they will not even feel in harmony with someone who does not stimulate their libido. But this is not a general trend for there are still men who value the internal qualities of a woman over and above her shapely legs and curvaceous body, beautiful face and healthy boobs.

There are men who look at beauty beyond the physical level but do expect that those who do belong to a small percentage compared to the general preference of men for external beauty over internal qualities.

2. Do you know that human conflict is a part of nature?

Remember that even twins are not alike. A basic example is the "Johari Window" which states that "the man's real self differs from his ideal self ". This illustrates that we all have the tendency to present a different persona from what we really are hence creating "identity crisis".

If a person has a difficulty in looking at reality straight to the face, what more between two people who have different sets of value system, priorities and choices? The ideal concept and ugly reality will never meet halfway.

Therefore it is imperative for the couple in-love not to struggle to change his or her partner to perfect the relationship but rather accept these flaws and learn to live with them.

3. Do you know that emotional maturity is a must to a successful relationship?

Youthfulness is the age of activism for there is a burning desire to solve life's problems in urgency owing to impatience, thus leading to more conflicts in the relationship.

On the other hand, emotional maturity is the ripeness of the human soul, as proven by time and experience. Matured lovers are more patient and sensitive to the needs and wants of his or her partner.They are also prudent in decision making. This will result to lesser fights and they spend more time for bonding thus strengthening the couple's commitment for each other.

IMPERFECTION in a relationship is likened to the partnership between a painter and his model. The painter's canvass can only picture the external appearance of his model but the painting will never state the exact character of the subject.

LOVE is best experienced when two lovers are READY to accept each other's flaws and learn to live with them.

The best way to save or strengthen a relationship is to UNDERSTAND each other through constant communication and to ACCEPT each other without reservations. The surest way for a couple to live a harmonious life together is to lessen expectations of each other which are anchored on pre-conceived perfect standards.

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