Saturday, April 25, 2009

What is happiness?

Let me offer a new perspective to happiness: The Unconditional You. To achieve this, you must recognize the need to advance for independence.

It is not choosing a solitary life, but it is finding inside you the essence of being yourself without setting much expectations on other people that can become your source of disappointment.

In simple words, accepting others as they are and living with your personal flaws by not putting much pressure on setting high goals that might not be unreachable for the present.

Personal happiness is an exclusive state of the mind and the heart. One person's material reason for happiness is not the joy of other people.

Common happiness is felt, undoubtedly, in the ambiance of a close family where love and respect bond each every member. This explains why the family is the basic unit of the society-the primary reservoir of positive emotions, an energy booster and bond enhancer.

The family institutionalizes the sense of belongingness that is why everyone needs their respective families to complete their existence on this world.

Nevertheless, the aim of my article is to provide you another look at the experience of happiness, which is not sourced from our family but from our own inner selves.

You just do not realize that you are an individual who is capable of everything provided that you do not impose restrictions on yourself. You have the capabilities that may be hidden now, but once nurtured will greatly changed your view of yourself.

Yes.You are HAPPINESS. Your world is made up by your own perception of how you want your life to be. Subliminally, you set your own standards, and this might either lift you up or pull you down.

Some may not find it easy to meet your expectations so they will fail you, and you can be unhappy. But do not be, for as I have worded, you are capable of releasing yourself from this common and cyclical "I will like you if you will" basis or the "reciprocal theory of human relations"--allowing too much unmet presumptions to make you sad.

Thrive on your capabilities and hone them to bring out the best in you. However, as you aim high, do not be mighty and proud. People come from many backgrounds, and unless you can relate with their personal sentiments about life, please do not judge them.

The common mistake the we individuals commit is judging people at the very instance, based on their wrong actions or flaws. Learn to accept that they have personal issues too and therefore they might appear distant at the moment but once they have survived their ordeals, they will appear refreshed and open for friendship in the future.

A sincere smile will let them know that you understand them.

Be happy with this thought. By not expecting too much, you will free yourself from unneeded pain.

Be unconditional in friendship. Not unless the other person is genuinely hurting and insensitive, then it is but right for you to keep your distance. But as I have always emphasized in my previous articles, that life is always a subjective experience.

No matter how stable and educated a person is, everyone is expected to react on certain circumstances in life bringing their own perspective.

Disparity is the testimony of individual uniqueness. Every man has his own set of values.

To conclude, let me state one absolute fact about the definition of happiness-- A PERSONAL EXPERIENCE. No one can prescribe the rules for happiness for they are always subjective.

No one can rate happiness for there is no uniform system to follow. The basic requirement, however, is to realize in full your desire for joy is to impose no restrictions on your person when it comes to accepting other people and yourself in this highly interactive and competitive word.

Be a good friend, daughter, son, sibling, parent, leader, teacher, motivator UNCONDITIONALLY. Rules are to be set in a formal organization but once you are in your personal zone, be slow in setting expectations.

Always remember, many people derive happiness from loving other people with less expectations and living freely by accepting their own imperfections.

Despite the errors of humanity, life is too beautiful to take for granted. Happiness is making other people happy too, unconditionally.


Walt said...

Well said my friend, and who should know better than I? One who gave all his heart, seeking what I thought would make me happy. There is only one who can make you happy, and that is yourself. But here is some helpful advice to keep in mind.

Bai Maleiha B. Candao said...

Hello Walt, thanks for the links. Indeed, happiness is always a personal thing between man and his soul. This is the personal definition of happiness.

But man is not one phase of entity alone for he is a social, moral, and spiritual being. HIS HAPPINESS is found inside his soul and because he is God-fearing, it goes without saying that 'GOD' is inside him to guide his way in life.

Thanks Walt for your time. :-)

Bai Maleiha B. Candao said...


My article DEFINES the meaning of personal happiness--for those who find it hard to understand, let me say it again, that PERSONAL CHOICE is the freedom of man to explore himself..THAT INCLUDES FINDING GOD in his heart.

I did not say that GOD IS ABSENT IN HAPPINESS. Please read between the lines.

Walt said...

Where there is true love, you will find happiness. My dear friend, all real love is divine, and flows from the creator who is Love. Yet the gift of love we receive from God is like a living thing, and the seeds of love we plant will also bare us the fruit of elation and joy, but like any living thing it has to be to be nurtured and cultivated. The more people and things you learn to love unconditionally, the happier you will become.

Princess, there are too few like yourself in this world to let you stand unappreciated. Having been a warrior at heart, I am always in a battle with myself. I know Sun Tzu's the Art of War better than any holy book. To keep myself balanced an on the path, I need a strong compassionate heart like yours, to help keep me humble and in my place. Also to remind myself that the victory we seek is not of this world. As I look back in time I see a history of arrogant fools who still to this day, think their God is so weak that he needs someone to kill for Him.

Bai Maleiha B. Candao said...

I agree. Thank you for your kind words.

I appreciate your time and kindness Walt. Your blog is brilliant and compassionate. Your thoughts focus on the goodness of other people by motivating and inspiring them to be the best that they can be.

I am just a blog away.Let us spread words of positivism and inspiration.:-)

Empowered Women

Empowered Women