Saturday, March 21, 2009

My Say On Broken Marriage

A common conversation between a child and her mother shows us how societal opinion can shape the status of any broken family.

"Hey mommy, you know, Sheila's mother and father are separated! Does it make Sheila bad, mommy? Shall I avoid Sheila?. My friends told me that children from broken home families are not good to befriend with. "

A fair parent will explain to her child that a broken family is the result of a failed marriage but not of a failed person." Failure in marriage is not a failure in all phases of life but it is, in fact, a challenge to beat.

Broken marriages always create a public stir. Fundamentalists and moralists judge cases of broken families on the surface, hence this will not result in a fair criticism of divorced couples with kids. The stereotyped mentality is detrimental to fairness and impartiality in judging people of broken homes.

Society prescribes that a family should have a mother, father, and children. Having only one parent gives the impression that it is an incomplete family and therefore must not be given credence and reverence. Hypocrisy. What happens to individual rights? What justifies this kind of discrimination?

This form of judgmental myopia fails to consider the fact that not all cases of marital divorce involved the same causality, and must not be seen as the couple's most comfortable option to get rid of each other. There are couples who struggled in their marital lives just to preserve it "for the sake of the children".

Opposition to divorce cites that children of broken home families will end up in jails or drug rehabilitation centers. This is not always the case. In fact, most of them perform well in their respective lives using their family status as a guide to avoid repeating the same mistakes their parents had committed in the past.

Having a broken family is a reality of life showing man's inherent vulnerability to errors. No man is free from the errors of humanity. It is unfair that one's error will doom him forever because society demands perfection. Whose viewpoint must dictate what a perfect family is? There is no such thing as a perfect family. Idealism in marriage remains in concept but we all know that in reality, it is unachievable.

I do not consider broken marriage as a social problem neither it is to be classified as a threat to humanity. People with broken marriage must be treated with understanding and empathy for we all know that if they had the choice, they would not do anything to destroy their vows. I am not in the position to discuss the varied reasons for divorce by many couples, but all I know is that in most cases, there was love at the first stage of marriage.

However, if principles are threatened or controlled by lies and deceit, no party would prolong their agony "just for the sake of the kids".

Not all marriages are broken out of an overnight decision. The decision to leave a marriage is owing to a combined emotional and psychological pressure that are real obstacles to the attainment of a successful life for a long period of time.

What good is marriage if it kills the joy and serenity of the home? Using the kids as an excuse to save a dying marriage will only aggravate the situation for fightings will continue until it reaches the point that both have already lost their respect for each other.

Yes, I agree that the children will suffer. But are we in the position to prolong their suffering as they witness the constant conflict in their home? Or can you bear to pretend that you are happy no matter how devastating your marital life is?

Life is a choice we make and it is not weird to be happy on your own if you are at peace with yourself than having someone with you yet the stress and pressure are compounded each day.

However, I do not advise that you subscribe to my personal stand for I am merely expressing my principle and I do not speak for the majority.

Live according to your choices and decisions.What is important is you are responsible enough to face and handle the consequences of your actions.

1 comment:

Walt said...

I agree with your post. Bai Maleiha, you are a very brave and noble Woman.

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