Sunday, March 29, 2009

How To 'SMARTLY" Handle Online Dating?

What are the most common reasons why many people choose to date online?

Companionship. To love and being loved back in return. Diversion. Friendship. All of these words do exist in online dating. Only want thing is absent: REALITY.

It is not a secret that online dating is a virtual world of two people who met on the net and still pretend that they know each other well despite the fact that they have no knowledge whatsoever about each other's real character. It is not a secret that not all data provided online is true. Online masking is very imminent.

Online is not the real world. Those who use it to their advantage, especially young people who seek adventure in all forms of online relationship will reveal only their attractive traits and the rest are hidden from constructive criticism.

This is easy for the yahoo messenger minus the webcam can conceal angry faces while chatting. Even if one is screaming at the top of his voice angrily, he could still mask his emotions by just sending a smile emoticon. The yahoo messenger is just a means of writing what the chatter wants to convey. He is always free to edit the information that he provides.

In other words, masking is the other name for online dating.

I started using the yahoo messenger in 2007 and I did join social sites to meet new friends and to learn from their respective cultures. However, purposes do vary and this created pressure on my part when some of those who contacted me wanted an online relationship hence most of those I received from my yahoo messenger were offline messages.

Invisible as I always opt to be online, I got questions on why I refrain from chatting. Do I need to say that I do not believe in chatting as the truthful mode of communication? However, I always replied to them politely stressing that I do not cross the boundary of my standards when it comes to online friendship.

Those who are gentle and well-mannered responded positively. Those who could not take no for an answer kept stalking me. That was a year ago and from them on I became inactive in social sites except in facebook where social and political causes are always discussed and not on the triviliaties of human emotions.

Out of my personal concern, I imposed it upon myself to write on this title to share my points for they can be of help to those who are undergoing the same stress as I had in the past.

Be Smart Online

Never have second thoughts in checking the background of the person who pretends he is someone of this and that without much evidence. Not unless you are assured of the authenticity of the person you are corresponding with, please never give salient details about yourself, like e-mails and passwords for you this will cause problem to you later in life.

Avoid providing your exact address for motives must be studied well. Online dating starts with edited information and this is not fair if you are someone who is always true at all times. Hold your information. Check and review all the details of what your correspondent provided you. Once you encounter and have proven treachery, stop all forms of communication at once. A liar is never worth your time and attention.

Be Polite

No matter what your decision will be, to reject or accept someone online, politeness is an important tool in communication. Majority of those men who do not take no for an answer are not really in-love with the person they bother, but it is their ego that could not rest.

For them, getting what they want is a challenge. Therefore be polite but honest.

If they keep on sending offline messages, then never reply. Once you bid them goodbye, and said your reasons politely, there is no more point of responding to their offline bitterness.

Be honest and concise

In my early years of using the yahoo messenger, I was always very brief in introducing myself. Decent language will tell them that you want to be treated the same way. If they cross the line then tell them that you do not waste time on people using vulgar words. Spam them afterwards.

Be true

The reality of being yourself is freeing. Pretending to be not you are will bring you a negative karma. Once the people you fed with lies discover who you are and not what you claim to be, they will outrightly lose their respect for you. Whether you are in the real or online world, the rule of life is to be true. Let the truth set you free.

Stand up for your personal advocacy

Everyone who uses the net has a personal motivation. Some want to earn, others want to express their thoughts through blogging and some just want to play around and develop multiple online relationship.

As for you, know your personal stand and stick to it. Online time is important and must be well managed. You need not always bend to accommodate other people whose motive is only to disturb you. If your personal reasons for online venture is to write, earn and be relevant, then stick to them.

You can accommodate friends but adopt a flexible schedule so that your other mission will not be jeopardized. Link with people who can inspire you and be careful in giving time to those who will drain your energy by communicating with you for selfish reasons.

Connect with sites that have noble causes for your talents and skills must be shared with a purpose that will benefit the majority while at the same time, it allows you to grow and develop with each passing day. For me, my online time has a mission toward peace and that is how I manage my dealings with whoever comes my way.

Online dating is not my reason and I will ensure that I do not get intertwined with the lies and treachery that many failed to resist.

In assessment, online dating is a case to case basis. There are those who were able to find marriage through online dating sites, but many fall prey to liars and deceitful onliners.

My only appeal is that you must not empty your mind with intelligence and practicality in dealing with the online sharks. You can find the true ones, but it is always a minimal ratio as against the bad ones.

Be all that you can be to connect with your good intentions when using the net, but at the same time, be very cautious in believing what you read and perceived as true.

As I have said, study all details before you make a stand online.

Always be ready to constantly assess your status in the internet and to adopt corrective measures to ensure your safety on the web.

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