Sunday, September 28, 2008

Confronting Anger


While most of us try to act in a refined manner to circumvent offending people who are of importance to us, the fact remains that not even one's civility could belay one from blowing his top if a situation stretches one's stress tolerance. Of course, education tells us to be nice and composed, but it is hypocritical to feign that you are well-bred but at home you are a reprobate.

Well, you can't hide the truth if you can relate with this article. Being mean is not inhuman, it is in fact the truth about being human. However, it is how you control your anger that could make you qualify for a more refined character.

In my case, confronting my anger is not hard to do. It is a system of conditioning my reactions to two things" "Who am I angry at?" and "What is the personal issue between me and the person who made me mad?" Some people have deep-seated anger for someone but have chosen not to talk about it. As time went on, anger is compounded by more anger, so the consequence is "rage".

Rage is the expected reaction of someone whose anger has been controlled and hidden for many years.

To avoid this, I suggest that you settle the issues between the
person who makes you feel bad. Nevertheless, if you prefer to avoid the person, then it is your choice. I usually do this if I could sense that I might lose control during the confrontation.

They say I am straightforward with no qualms of asserting my right over matters that affect my peace of mind and my right to live my life the way I choose. I am. I am also unafraid of expressing my emotions if the need arises. I am well-bred but I refused to be like a chamaleon with people whose presence makes me uncomfortable.

I would not go to
the extent of bending my principles to accommodate some people when my heart curses from the inside. Meaning, if I like you, you will know. If I hate your manners, you will know too.

I prefer to be alone than to be in the company of hypocrites. Sad to say that as humans we are not free from this natural emotion. But what happens when one is angry? Naturally we lose our ability to interpret the situation logically.

Anger affects a person's cognitive process by collapsing his ability to weigh the consequences of his spoken words or violent reactions.Anger is a one-eyed monster if the anger has no basis or just an immature response. Hurting words leave scars for a lifetime.

It is easier to write about this,for your humble writer too had always been a victim of anger owing to disloyalty of the people who I thought I could count on.But I do not dwell on negative emotions for long. Time heals me fast.

In a man-woman relationship,one of the best strategies to handle your anger is confronting your mate without forgetting his feelings. This is not easy if you are someone whose anger was caused by your partner's total disrespect of your rights.

Arguments brought about by jealousy and distrust are common grounds of verbal conflict.However, I do not agree that men must never lose in a fight. Ridiculous! Such statement contributes to pampering the male machismo.Hence,many husbands think that avoiding verbal arguments with their wives means being henpecked.It is not a good mental guide for men for it will certainly widen the gap between spouses aside from its being divisive and unreconciliatory.

There are many ways to handle a heated argument but the primary requirement is that one of the couples must have the ability to outfocus ---meaning unfocused on oneself and focused on your partner's feelings.

Can you ladies do that? Hard for women of strong personalities.
But never hard if the woman is truly in-love and wants the relationship to work. Simple logic states that if one is truly committed to preserve her relationship, the actions to take will be toward the sustainability of marriage. Otherwise, it is a simple case of lip service.

Please remember that a love that is deep and true is the most sensitive.It lives in sweet and caring words but could die if it will constantly be fed with lies and verbal abuse. This is the anathema of true love.

All lovers passed this stage. I know of several friends whose verbal arguments focused mainly on character attack.After the height of anger,the damage can not be undone.Egos will be ripped in pieces and deep scars will remain forever.

Confront your anger but always take into consideration the reason why you do it and against whom? Find the most positive way to express it. If you could not hold your anger and you feel the you could get violent, then avoid the person in the meantime while you compose yourself to avoid the worst situation between your enemy and you.

Unless physical attacks are done against you, by all means fight back for you are legally allowed to defend yourself from any form of danger to your life.

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