How can rejection be polite?
How can you say no to a persistent admirer without offending his ego? How can a woman look to a man's eyes and drop the rejection bomb before his face?
It is really difficult to master the art of rejection, for indeed it is hurting for those who will receive it. Some men will mask their hurts by getting bitter. But the truth must be said no matter how it hurts. It is better to be honest than make your admirer expect. This will be totally unfair towards the person.
There are many subtle or direct ways to reject an admirer. The truth must be told. JUST SAY IT. BUT say it very POLITELY.
This is a poser for many committed women especially those who are socially active and whose works deal closely with men.
Social exposure means an exposure to all types of male personality. There are men who operate merely on their ego, the ones who love challenges and pursue committed women just for the thrill of it and no love to talk about in the first place.
This type of male character is a real threat to mental instability if those running after you would never take no for an answer. Men are natural hunters...once they see a potential victim (hehehe!), they would not stop until they get her in flesh. Women must be smart enough to know if they are being chased just for sex or that the chaser's motive is clean and decent.
Naivety is not an excuse if you give in to a man's lust. The best defense for women is to study the motives of her admirers.
Once you know the truth using your intelligent assessment of those men eyeing your yes, not for something serious but merely for adventure, there are ways to reject them without hurting their male ego.
Here are some tips that you could use:
1. Be totally honest about your personal status:
Never give him false hope. Tell him that you are committed and would not entertain anything beyond friendship. If he becomes unmanageable or rudely persistent, that is the time to tell your fiance about it. Petty problems that are manageable need not be a reason to bother your sweetie.
2. Talk the same way they send their message:
There are men who will say words indirectly to express their feelings. This is one way that they could voice out their emotions for they know that they could not say directly how they feel knowing that the object of their affection is no longer available. So respond indirectly too.
Example: He says, "If I could find someone like you, I will never think twice to get married."
Your response: "That is life. I am very happy with my man. NO need for extra affair"
This will give him the idea that he has no chance to enter your life for you are happy with your sweetie. Playful men strike fast when they could feel the unhappiness of a woman in a relationship. Speak joy about your partner. Respect his absence.
3. Never Accept gifts. No money favors:
Accepting money from a man who is not your fiance will make him run after you more. Not unless YOU ARE CERTAIN YOU WILL END UP WITH HIM, never get money from him for he could hold you for that. Once you are indebted, you have no choice but to submit.
I hope those three ways I have mentioned above would help you ladies.
However, in fairness to motives of men, there are also sincere men who have no qualms of expressing themselves without any intention of destroying the relationship. They are just being honest about their affection . If a man does that and expect nothing from you, then respect his emotions. Surely, he will not disturb you for he just wants to find contentment in seeing you and nothing more. There is no cause for alarm.
Please remember that every man is different.
There is no manual on how to handle the persistent men from those who have principles but in-love. Just be yourself and be truthful. Do not act flirtatiously before them. Act decently so that they will not misread your actions as suggestive of something. This will make men understand your point whoever they are.
Just always speak with tact. They have feelings too.